8 Ways To Cultivate Intentional Relationships

Building relationships takes work. I think this is often why we see so many superficial relationships that never go below the surface level. If deep and meaningful relationships were easy, we would probably see a lot more of them.

The definition of relationship is simply the way two or more are connected. When two people share similar goals, interests, outlooks on life, and spend time together, they have a relationship or friendship based on those things they share. The more we can do to create connections to each other, the stronger the relationship will be.

Intentionality refers to being deliberate or purposeful. When you apply this to relationships, what does that look like?

HOW CAN WE BE INTENTIONAL IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS?

1. BE PRESENT

This one seems to be common sense, but I think the busyness of our lives tend to take over sometimes. To have a relationship with someone, you have to be present. You have to spend time together. When we spend time together, we allow deep conversations to be had, memories to be made, and bonds to be formed.

This means making the person a priority in your life. Each memory, adventure, and shared experience weave together with those basic shared interests, creating ropes (a bond) that ties us together.

This means we have to pick up the phone and make a call, go to coffee, plan a trip and take that trip, show up on the doorstep ready for conversation. This means we enjoy a night out, an afternoon shopping, or an evening of conversation and wine on the patio. We have to be present to expect relationships to form on a deeper level.

2. BE AUTHENTIC AND TRANSPARENT

When a relationship is grounded in honesty, vulnerability, and accountability; intentionality is a little easier to pursue. We need to go deeper than surface level. We need to talk about struggles, raw emotions, and how life is REALLY going. We need to not sugar coat our lives. This allows for real, authentic relationships to be formed.

When I look at my strongest relationships in life, it is so clear to me that being open and transparent are huge components in those particular relationships!

3. UNDERSTAND THE PERSON

I think sometimes we so quickly assume everyone is the same, but God created each of us so differently. Understanding where the person comes from, their morals, and what makes them the way they are is so important.

In marriages, I would say look at the 5 Love Languages (Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) and figure out your spouses love language. My husbands is physical touch and I am quality time. If we wouldn’t have figured this out, we could have easily assumed how to ‘love’ the other person based on our own love language.

4. BE AN ACTIVE LISTENER

Listening is so easy, right? We listen to music. We listen to the TV while watching a show. We listen to the radio. We listen to our friends. But are we truly listening? Is what they are saying resonating with us?

When we actively listen, we shouldn’t be distracted by our phones. We shouldn’t be distracted by others. We should be fully engaged. We need to be fully engaged to culitviate intentional relationships.

5. SERVE THE PERSON

God gave each of us different talents, abilities, and gifts. Often times, I think we forget to use those gifts to serve others.

Are you a great cook? If you have a friend who you know won’t have the energy to cook one day, take them a meal.

Are you good at cleaning? Then bless someone by taking on that role for them one day when they are in over their head in stress.

Whatever it is, serve someone with your gifts! There are SO many ways we can serve each other! If you don’t know how you can serve, just ask. Sounds silly and you may get a strange look at first, but just ask how you can serve them this week!

6. BE RELIABLE

When we make plans with someone are we constantly moving plans or canceling? Are we the type of person that will be there for someone when hurt or tragedy strikes?

Being reliable means able to be trusted or a person with trustworthy qualities. Show up when you say you will. Call when you say you will. Keep your commitments.

Do our friends know that when they make plans with us they can count on us being there? Be the friend that people know they can count on!

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7. BE AN ENCOURAGER

I don’t mean be a cheerleader, but to truly encourage whoever it is! If the person is going through a hard time, look up scripture to send to them or send them a text message letting them know you are praying for them through this difficult time.

We should strive to be the person that stands with them in every season of life to help push them through and celebrate them on the other side! Always encouraging them towards Christ no matter what season they are in is being an encourager!

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” – Hebrews 10:24 NIV

8. BE IN PRAYER

I think this is a vital component of any healthy relationship. Be in prayer for AND with those you are intentional relationships with. We need to know what they need prayer for as well. Ask them!

We must not be timid about prayer! Prayer is such a powerful weapon against the enemy and we should be using it constantly! Be intentional about being an active prayer partner for your relationships!

 

When we live intentionally, we will begin to see relationships bloom from superficial to deep and meaningful. Relationships are worth working for, nurturing, and protecting! So what do you say? How about we go out and make it a priority to be intentional in our relationships?

xoxo,

Ashley Welborn

Photography: Starling Hope Photography

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